So, our baby is three weeks old. The days have flown by in a blur of feeding / nappy changes / long walks in the verandah at 3 am trying not to fall over the railing mid-sleep.
In retrospect, all I can remember of the labour is pleading with Mr.R that I couldn’t go on and the doctor saying that the baby was ‘almost here’. That was all a lie, of course. I’m not good at handling physical pain at the best of times and even the few hours of labour that I had left me worn out. I remember being taken to my room afterwards and the baby being brought in. I remember holding him and then going to sleep. The next thing I know it was time for breakfast and I had missed the first hours of my son’s life.
All my best laid plans flew out of that labour room window. I had planned to take pictures soon after the birth. I wanted to document how my little baby looked when I first saw him (ok, so he didn’t look that different four hours later, but still…). Photos were taken, of course, later that day, but all the baby photography tips that I had spent hours reading up on were lost on me in the euphoria of that morning.
Three weeks later, we’re still trying to get out of a daze like situation that comes from a complete and total disruption of your sleep, eating and life in general. One baleful look from baby M however, shuts us up. Everything is forgotten and forgiven with one toothless smile (even if it gas), or one piercing stare (even if you know that he can’t really see anything beyond his nose at the moment).
All my best laid plans… The baby journal I had meant to keep lies unused, pristine in its waiting. For a writer, not writing is a hard thing to do. There are days when the urge to put thoughts down on paper is so strong that I wish I had a Dictaphone or similar device nearby (because my hands are occupied feeding /cleaning /carrying). In the last week, as feeding gets established and we both get smarter at it, I’ve figured out a crafty way to scribble in my diary with a pillow acting as life-saver.
Being somewhat ambidextrous also helps, even if only I can read my writing later on. At least those words are out of my system.
Blog entries (I have so many posts floating in my head!) are also going into the diary for the moment, although many of them might be outdated by the time they get to the screen (like my thoughts on Lead India, the elections, things happening here…). And while the baby sleeps, to destress, I binge on decor blogs. My favourites? Decorology, I Suwannee, Rang Decor are three. Then there’s all the eye candy that I end up visiting through them. I have plans to start posting on all things interiors myself – maybe post a few pics of Goan interiors, furniture and decor in general.
For now, I’m glad to have written five hundred words while I count the minutes till baby M awakens and demands his nourishment. My soul feels filled, too. Emptied of random thoughts, I can now go back to Dr. Spock and his tribe without looking longingly at the screen glowing in the dark.